Just thinking……

Published November 19, 2012 by mamapossum1954

Put a load of laundry in just now….how mundane is that??? When I’m not on campus, it seems that my life is just one great blob of boring acts. Oh, well, gives me time to think. Too much time perhaps. Like how Nate is taking his 3rd driving test tomorrow…..and how we really, really need him to get his license so I can transfer the truck over to him & get it repaired & inspected.  Or….like how ABSCUF has voted to authorize a strike statewide in PA, and how will that affect all the IUP students (including me)? And if they do strike, when will they? And will it affect my winter classes? Or spring classes? So I’m holding off getting any book for my winter classes right now until I know more. Or… like how I’m not sure if we’re going to Lisa’s for Thanksgiving this year because I haven’t heard from her…..yeah, I could call her, I guess. Right now, I am SO angry with her ex!! If he cared one bit about his kids, or about the mother of his children, he wouldn’t have taken the car from her…..but of course, he’s a self-absorbed, selfish, ignorant a**hole!!

I spend way too much time thinking. Yes, I could play card games on the computer (which I have been doing), or watching my t.v. shows on hulu (which I also have been doing)…or playing FarmTown (yes, you guessed it! I’ve been doing that, too).  But, seriously, it’s the important stuff that I shy away from thinking about, because my mind just gets stuck on the spin cycle and never reaches any conclusions. Of course, if I could clone myself, it would be a moot point. But science hasn’t quite figured out how to do that just yet (at least, not a full grown ready made clone anyway); plus it’d be way too expensive.

Part of me (the part that hates crowds and hates the fast pace) would just like to have a small place to live out in a small town somewhere (NOT in PA). Maybe some place where there are lots of wolves or a wolf sanctuary or something. Of course, there probably wouldn’t be much call for social workers in a small place like that, so my college career would be all for nought (naught).

Then there’s another part of me that would really LOVE to go back to Melbourne. Yes, I hated the extreme heat….at times. And I know the place has probably changed alot since 2003. But I did love it there. And I miss Kim. And vegemite.

And, of course, then there’s the rational, boring, conservative part of me….that just wants to be safe and not venture outside my comfort zone. But even going to grad school (IF I decide to that and IF I am lucky enough to get in) would take me out of my comfort zone because there are no schools here that offer an MSW.

And, lastly, there’s the part of me that wants to move down to Florida with my son and Lisa and her kids. That’s IF either one of us gets to the point where all the i’s are dotted and the t’s crossed and we can afford it.

Well….I guess I’m destined to continue floundering when it comes to making decisions. And then I end up usually making the wrong ones. NOT that moving to Oz was a wrong decision, mind you. It was right at the time, and I don’t regret (most of it).

Murphy’s Law….yes, there IS a t.v. show with that name, though it’s made in the UK. Seriously, tho, Murphy is….an enigma. I haven’t had a real best friend that I could totally be myself with in such a long time. Even those people that I was close with at times (and still care about) and still consider best friends, well, I’ve had to wear a mask at times….and monitor what I say and how I say it; not to mention, tone down my actions. I truly hate playing a “role”!! With Murphy, I can be myself. Be totally outrageous, or even say stupid things. My very first best friend was Larry, in grade school. And, yes, technically, Murphy is a guy….who is young enough to be my son. But he is so much more than that. I feel privileged that he shared himself (or herself) the way he did. Guess I should stop saying “he”. If Murphy were ever to read this, I would hate to offend him (her). But Murphy has no idea how bright of a personality she has. As if it’s wrapped around her like a wooly cloak, or perhaps feathers which spread out all around her. The vibrations…..WOW! The just seem to flow out of her! Well, not sure which part of Murphy it’s coming from, but that’s the part that makes me smile and makes my day brighter, even when I’m feeling as low as I can possibly get. Almost as addictive as caffeine to me!

Enough for now. I’ve got to go do something mundane….like make a coffee, or check on the laundry. See you later, peeps!

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