Not Sure How To React…..

Published December 18, 2012 by mamapossum1954

It’s a big change for me….having a best friend like Murphy. I’ve had close friends in the past, usually one at a time. Those relationships have changed over the years. Marcia was one of my best friends since grade school – although we both lived in different states (me in Maryland, Marcia in PA)…but for some reason, we’ve both changed…ALOT.  And Peggy has been my best friend since Chillum Elementary…..but our relationship has changed too.

Of course, there was Larry Perrin, my bestie at Chillum until his mother (his parents were divorced) moved them to an upper scale apartment in a suburb further away. I did attend his bar mitzvah, but we grew apart too. Haven’t been in contact with him since junior high I guess.

Of course there was Kim in Melbourne, and a couple of others that didn’t last. And Leanne at IUP. We were nearly inseparable for a few semesters….but at least we still communicate.

In all of those relationships, however, I have never really had a best friend who was so stubborn as Murphy! Oh, not just stubborn. Sure, we both have issues and baggage (Murphy probably much more so than me)….but to … how do I say this?  Yes, Marcia did alot for me when Nathan & I came back to the USA (well, I was the one that “came back”) by letting us stay with her & Dan & the sons…..and, yes, she’s bought me some food, dog food, other essentials, and lent me money on occasion…..Oh, crap, I forgot about Barb!!! Now, she has been a life saver. The one time she loaned me one of her cars while my van was out of commission, and the money she loaned me over the summer (which I STILL owe…and which I WILL repay as soon as I’m able).

But, seriously, Murphy is always there for me. It just brightens my entire day being around Murphy (not to mention all the others), no matter how bad I feel physically, mentally, emotionally.

I’ve learned to help others….hell, I grew up with that tattooed on my psyche!! You help others, but you NEVER ask for help from others, and you try like your life depends on it to avoid accepting help from others.

I’m at a point in my life where I can’t do that now. I just don’t have the resources.

And having been sick for over a month….and hoping it would just clear up by itself, or with the help of the Mucinex I had….well, that didn’t happen. So here it is another week of not having being able to hear much. I guess I’ve got about 30-40 percent hearing right now. I’ve screwed up my one assignment in Foundations with Dr. Hysock – which is probably going to cost me dearly when grades are posted. And I absolutely HATE disappointing her.

Now I’ve gone and accepted Murphy’s offer of help and committed myself to a visit to the doctor tomorrow.  Yuck!  Number one, I HATE doctors really. Number two, no matter how much Murphy tells me I don’t need to worry about paying her back (I am STILL having problems writing “her” instead of “him”…..sorry about that Murphy….I AM trying)……I will still feel awkward about accepting “charity”.

Still, I KNOW Murphy is right. I need to look after my health. And I HAVE been sick for too long and it isn’t getting any better.

I guess the thing is that I wish I could explain to Murphy how much her friendship really, truly means to me. I’ve never ever had someone who looked after me like that. It’s a new experience. I care deeply about Murphy. I love her….in a strictly platonic, quasi-maternal way…..though it’s so much more than that. Makes me wish I wasn’t so old at times. Anyway, looks like I’m headed to the doctor’s with Murphy tomorrow.  Joy, joy, joy.

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