Last day of July 2013. Nathan’s birthday is in 15 days. School starts in 26 days. And I’m not sure what my plans will be when I graduate in December. Hard decisions. Not being sure which way to go…..not sure which way God wants me to go either. I hate making decisions! Some (most?) always end up turning out wrong. Trying to balance what I want with what God wants and what with what is best for all people concerned. That’s the major difficulty.
Lately I’ve been immersing myself in Australian TV shows on hulu.com. Mainly “City Homicide” and “Rush” of course – plus they have characters you really get to care about. Yes, I guess I’ve watched way too much TV in my life! Anyway, I got to thinking about Keith – considering the themes of the 2 shows, that isn’t surprising. And I started searching for info on the Net about it – again. Came across a link to a TV show featuring…yeah, you guessed it….Keith. It was hosted by a Melbourne solicitor….kind of talk show featuring ex-convicts. Blast from the past!!!! Then of course I got to thinking about that letter I wrote to Keith while I still worked for Central Tax. The one I never mailed. The one I now can’t find. And, believe, I tore my room apart not long ago trying to find it. It had photos of Nathan in it too. Anyway, I sent an email to the solicitor asking for information. Then I did more searches. Found a link to a parole board type organization with the corrections dept. & sent them an email as well. Whether I hear back from them or not, I have no idea. I probably didn’t keep the one they sent me the first time….too many years ago.
Keith looked damn good for his age, let me tell you. He was 52, he said, so that must’ve been about 6 years ago. Apparently he is/was in a relationship with someone at the time of the filming of the show. Figures. I KNEW I should’ve mailed that damn letter.
Water under the bridge, I guess. First Dave. Then Graham. Now Keith. I don’t really count Alan because….well, just because.
Just got a text from my son, letting me know he’s working until 11 pm (not 9:30 as the schedule says). So I guess I won’t have to start dinner soon….and he won’t get home until after 11, so not sure if we’ll be able to go to Walmart for some groceries or not. On a positive note, at least it’s more hours for him, which means more in his pay check!
We got new neighbors next door today. Haven’t met them yet, tho I did see the woman. Francine says they’re “weird” – not sure what that means. Time will tell, I guess. As long as they don’t have a dog as well!!!!
Went through some of my books today to see what might be postable on paperbackswap. The rest will go to Goodwill, along with the TV, the DVD player, the rabbit ears, and various items. Really want/need to clean this place out!!!! Of junk, of stuff that won’t be used, or clutter. Hopefully Marcia is coming tomorrow to pick up her tables & stuff from the yard sale that didn’t sell. And, of course, when I was going thru the books, I thought some of them “might come in handy” in future if I’m working with clients or whatever. But I can’t keep everything!!! It’s driving me nuts!
As I kept telling Karlee, “baby steps”!!
Here it is nearly the end of July 2013. It has been a long and boring summer break, and I can honestly say I’ve been ready for classes to start back up at IUP for weeks now!! Of course, this will be my last semester at IUP, hopefully with my graduation in December of this year.
There’s been a multitude of interesting posts by my friends (and others) on Facebook, some of which I felt necessary to repost. Still, when perusing the activities of my IUP and FB friends, I’ve come to the conclusion that I either lead a dull & boring existence or I desperately need (1) a social life, and/or (2) more friends (in order to have a social life).
Many people would say that when a person is nearing 60 years old, he or she shouldn’t worry about a social life or doesn’t “need” a social life. Me, I am stagnating! My brain is turning to mush.
At least I can say my son is finally grown up and now a member of the “working class” – but it bites that HE is the one is who supporting both of us. It humiliates and annoys me that my job at Walmart didn’t work out. Yet those last two nights when I shadowed the cashiers really scared me! It wasn’t just the anxiety and panic attacks either. The severe light-headedness and nearly passing out and the severe pains in my feet and legs (which I still haven’t gotten rid of). I mean, seriously, a trained monkey could be a cashier!! Not really, but the job is a no-brainer. And it isn’t that I wasn’t smart enough to do the job; it was the fact that PHYSICALLY I could not handle it.
Enough of that.
Thanks to my dear friends, I don’t have the bills hanging over our heads….and thanks to my son keeping up with the monthly ones as well.
I really can’t wait to get back to classes! Four class….12 credits….and I’m done. Kind of scary in a way. Kind of a head rush in another. I mean, I’m the first in my family to attend college (heck, Mom didn’t even graduate high school, and Dad only got his high school equivalency through correspondence). What I will do after graduation, I have no clue. There’s a ton of things I’d LIKE to do…..yeah, if I was 10, 15, or 20 years younger!!!
I would like to go for my Master’s Degree – either in Sociology or Social Work – but whether I could afford it is another story. And there’s no guarantee that I’ll be able to find a job with my degree, although I do have years & years of work and life experience. Maybe I’ll be fortunate and be able to take the civil service test and get a job that way. I’m hoping so.
On another note, my son needs to get his GED. I just have to find out when the next test is so he can prepare and save the money for the test.
Missing Melbourne so damn bad lately!!! I know it’s not really feasible for me to move back there; and I wouldn’t want to without my son (and he definitely doesn’t want to go back). I’ve been overdosing on episodes from “Rush” and “City Homicide” these past few weeks. So awesome to hear the accent and to see so many places that I actually remember. Sometimes I wish I could turn back the clock and undo some of the stupid stuff I did years ago! Or even re-experience some of the events I had….like being new to Australia and discovering Melbourne & its surrounds on the trams for the first time.
I really need to get my shit together and decide what I want to do after graduation. I’m obviously meant to be at IUP for another semester…..Even though I’m impatient or get angry or frustrated at things that happen, everything does happen for a reason, to put us on the path we’re supposed to travel.