Not been a good day….

Published January 25, 2014 by mamapossum1954

Actually managed to get some “decent” sleep last night…The weather, though, has been awful: snowing, windy….I really feel badly that my son has to work outside in this from 3 to 11 for the lousy pay he gets. He really hates his job now….though not in the beginning. If it weren’t for the way the “corporation” treats their employees – especially the cart pushers – it wouldn’t bother him so much; he likes nearly all of the CSM’s and the cart pushers, too.

He got his W2’s from work yesterday!! So that means he can file his very first tax returns!! It’ll have to wait until he has a day or 2 off, though, so I can show him the ropes and explain things.

Thanks to the Fish Antibiotics I purchased online, my ears are finally nearly 100% back to normal. Just a shame that I had to resort to that, plus self-medicating with OTC stuff – since I can’t afford to see the doctor. Have had a new “symptom” with this mystery virus I get nearly every year like clock-work….kind of a queasy, bloaty, nauseous, achy feeling in my “stomach”. So, naturally, I kept thinking about it; how it feels as if I’ve eaten something with a lot of eggs (like a baked cheesecake, or egg nog, or whatever). Well, when I woke up this morning, I remember thinking “gall bladder” – have NO idea where that thought came from…but I googled gall bladder symptoms. There is some kind of condition that gives you the bloaty, nauseous feeling and also chills and fever. Made me wonder if that is what this weird mystery virus is all about. But of course I can’t go to the doctor about it – since I have no health insurance and Pennsylvania won’t expand Medicaid.

Anyway, I’ve been stressing so much about finances, and bills, and finding a job, and Nathan hating his job…..We drove all the way to Johnstown on Wednesday so I could take the County Caseworker civil service test….I printed out directions and everything. Not only was it the coldest day of winter (at least it was sunny) but we ended up driving all over Johnstown and could not find the roads we were supposed to turn onto….so back home we went.

Now, of course, the truck’s exhaust is much louder than it has been…we wasted 3 hours and nearly 1/2 a tank of gas…for nothing. That’s the same day the virus hit me; Nathan had been sick since the Monday night (he still isn’t 100% yet); and I ended up sleeping off & on for over 18 hours – not even eating since the Tuesday. When I finally did eat something (my typical peanut butter & cheese sandwich), it tasted like sawdust or cardboard. Even coffee didn’t taste good.

So….bills. Here is Nathan, working for minimum wage (here in PA it’s $7.25/hr), roughly 30 hours per week at manual labor, and having to pay the bills (since I don’t have any financial aid now that I’ve graduated). Problem is that just the rent by itself (which is due the first week of each month) is nearly an entire 2 week paycheck!! Plus there’s the electricity, the internet – thankfully we don’t have cable TV or a landline phone…but there again he buys the phone cards for our prepaid cell phones, plus whatever we need that’s not covered by food stamps (laundry liquid, shampoo, toilet paper, dog food, quarters for laundry, cigarettes, etc.)….And the internet is due around the same time as the rent.

So he’s stressing about the bills and how far his wages will go….He’s spent nearly all the money he managed to put away while I was paying the bills with the financial aid refund…So I’m left with a quandry….How to pay the internet bill and also not touch the money Barb sent me as a birthday/Christmas/graduation gift. Of course, I still would’ve had to come up with the difference between what she sent me and the cost of the GRE test (I had $75 and the test is $92.50…which is what I would pay with the fee reduction program)….but can’t be done.

So I told Nathan not to worry about the internet bill, that I’d pay it. Of course he wanted to know how, so I told him. He looked relieved. Of course, when I explained it to him, I added that it wouldn’t make much difference anyway since (1) I probably wouldn’t pass the GRE test anyway, and (2) I probably wouldn’t get accepted into the Master’s Program for Sociology at IUP anyway. To give him credit, he did try to boost my morale by claiming that I probably could pass it and could get into the program….but it’s a moot point now anyway.  So much for dreams, I guess.  I’ve been fooling myself with dreams for most of my life, so why should now be any different???

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